i can't walk home from school in the dark without this heavy feeling in my heart.
every step i take, i remember the talks, the laughter, the warmth you gave when u walked with me.
felt like someone i love, died.
and its almost true
because you are gone
u are a different person now.
why of all people you picked me
to talk to on msn
to watch the sunrise with
to walk with
to ride with on atv
to sing a song to
to name your guitar after
to watch movies with
to hug
to kiss
to say all those nice things to
to make me feel like there was a future for us
and then after all that, u decide to go and never turn back.
like i didn't even deserve your best shot.
a part of me understands where u are coming from.
its not like there's anything u can do to make me feel better.
but the other part that doesn't is taking over.
your reasons always so great and glorious.
for the better good.
but is that a right to pretend nothing ever happened and start living another life altogether?
your very righteous life.
to just take me out of the equation.
because i was the mistake you made.
i think u've misjudged my capabilities.
my potential to be someone you thought good of.
to handle this better than i.
and i just justified ur beliefs, that a person like me cannot fit to be your partner.
i look up at the sky and sighed.
i can't accept that God will forgive me,
because i haven't been able to do the same to you.
Dear God, i'm sorry.
for morphing into this horrible person.
for leaving You behind.
i don't have the faith. nor the strength to continue.
