Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always "me first."
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, THE MESSAGE
pingy
dear God I must confess
that sometimes You seem far away
sometimes i forget about
how i stand because of grace
but Lord there's been a change in me
a change i hope will stay
for this is my prayer today
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
vision blurred | 11:48 PM
i wish i knew what is going on with me. within me. i told her i was okay. but she didn't hear it that way. i think i made my mum really worried i could almost hear her cry as she hung up the phone. she has never heard me cry this hard. she told me i could go back to singapore if i cant carry on here. start from scratch, study something else if need be. i always thank God for growing up in this family. they never expect anything from me. just my best would do. even if its not my best, so long as i am happy, not crazy, doing fine. i hope someday instead of offering me an easy way out, they could pray for me. because i know i need to get through this. but i think i pretty much spoiled that someday, crying like that. i told her its ok. not to worry. that i will get better. but inside i almost couldn't comprehend what i was saying because honestly. i have been feeling so lost for sometime now. even with all the promises in my head. hugging the bible to bed. mornings. are the hardest part. the moment i open my eyes, my world sinks to rock bottom. i used to sleep it off. so i would stay in bed all day. but now, i cant go back to sleep. once my eyes are open. i am kept awake by the pressing pain and i need to get out. to get it out. sing. read. go to school. do something. i think i'm sick. inside.
please pray for me.
