Desire by John Eldredge
Many good people have been told that the path to a holy life requires us to kill our hearts' desires. And call it sanctification. But in this release of one of Eldredge's most inspiring works, we discover that God is the author of our deepest desires. He has given us desire, and he loves to fulfill our hearts' desires.kinda relates to how i'm feeling, pushing everything, tucking them away into the corners of my mind. wrapping them up with tonnes of black tape so i know i won't have sudden outburst of negative emotions again. desiring God and laughing everything away with my dearest friends has been pretty awesome too. thank you.
I haven't read the book, but I'm going to, to see what its about. maybe there's another way out rather than to kill my heart. we'll see.
there are just lots of things left unsaid. with it ending in a huffy puffy manner. a cloud of the unknown surrounding. i just ain't satisfied. i don't have an answer to all the questions in my head. its frustrating. like doing a math question, but not knowing how to do halfway, being stuck somewhere, but not being allowed to finish it up and am supposed to just close the question and well.. just stop doing it. the sudden change in response probably made me feel like there wasn't an answer to the math question in the first place. some bobo just thought it was fun to frustrate me. i know its not. but i just feel that way. i'm dealing with it.
and i guess i could finally say that i'm slowly just letting it all go. no matter how messy things may seem. yes, even with my ocd compulsion. haha. because there is just no answer. maybe its like the green/purple ping pong ball story. lol.
then things just become clearer. what exactly am i striving for. which love lasts forever. i am constantly reminded that i'm a princess. and that God has just so much more in store for me. i am precious and worth it. not that i'm being arrogant or something. but its wad i am. a daughter of God. its ok for people to take advantage of me (for the fact that i am overflowing). but i am not to think any lowly of myself becos of.
there's one part i do find awfully hard to let go. becos its almost like a broken promise if anything happens and my heart won't be able to take. slowly.. slowly..
There's this other book.
Love And Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
A wife has one driving need - to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need - to feel respected. When that is met he is happy. When either one of these needs isn't met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.sounds simple eh. lol.
maybe why i could never exactly figure out what i wanted in a person. even character can change over time. what matters is the heart isn't it?
i just wanted to feel loved, like i'm worth it. that's it.
didn't get the book. not exactly what i need now. relationships for me are just a nono till time prevails. but its definitely a to read when the time comes. more important things first right now is to be the best i can be for God. to be His handy toolbox. =)
got another story book tho. just a lil something for the soul. so i can read on the plane back home.
Blue Heart Blessed by Meissner Susan 
Left standing at the altar, Daisy Murien, a wounded but hopeful romantic, opens a secondhand wedding dress boutique, hoping to soothe her broken heart while giving doomed wedding dresses a second chance at love. Her predictable days take a sharp turn, though, when the retired Episcopal priest who blesses the tiny, blue satin heart she sews into each dress falls ill. When the priest's brooding and recently divorced son arrives with plans to take his ailing father away, a contest of wills begins between two stubborn-and hurting-souls. While fighting to keep Father Laurent close by, Daisy finally begins to understand why she has routinely convinced potential buyers not to buy the one gown that started her business-her own: She doesn't want to give up on the dream of a fairytale romance. This compelling story is about the magnificence of unconditional love and God's impeccable timing in bringing it about.I'm a girl after all. =P
