life in christ. sometimes is really so difficult.
esp when u have non-christians parents.
u want to tell them why u're so involved in church. why it is taking so much time. why it matters more than other things.
tell them about the heavenly world.
i merely ask them about the church camp. my dad is a very ok guy. but my mum said something like why the church only know how to make parents worry. come up with camp and stuff. and also people only go church to worship and listen to sermon, why u have so many activities and all that.
it is like so pressurising when it comes from both sides.. having my difficulties being more christ-like. and facing them.
i guess also becos when i just joined, i'm also new to jc. so there's like a huge change. and they prolly link my poor studies to church.
but have they realised how tough jc is? well if not for others, for me. how its affecting my health, my mental state. and everything. i dunt know.
of cos they dont like take the cane and pressurize me. but really. i feel the pressure.
its like. sometimes i just feel like. ok. go for sermons. den come home and be a good girl. just stay home. show my face to her. but is this right? am i right. can someone tell me wad to do please. should i stay home to lets say revise my homework. make results better. make parents happy. den start ministry again? sometimes i'm just in such a dilemma. Will God be unhappy that i gave him up over my studies..which is i guess a worldly thing?
i want to join the youths or so called young adults more.. but i always have to say bye to go home.
i don't understand. my mum likes me to be home. even if she's not. and there's nothing to do. and i really try. i would normally turn down an offer even before i ask my mum. cos i'm so arggh dat she'll tick me off again.
she thinks i'll take drugs. she thinks my frens are bad. she doesn't trust me.
man i feel.. i really cant cope.
but i know i must. and i must change. fast.
