hmmm... naughty me.. have not really done hw except a eng compre and summary.. just cant be kept at home? it feels really terrible to be home.. makes u tink alot.. den u feel so empty.. den dies.. everything comes back.. well.. had e most traumatic nightmare on thurs nite.. dream of them. yes dem again.. this time is full blast throughout the nite! even when i wake up 5 times from e dream.. everytime i slept back.. it falls straight back into where i woke up.. terrible. he said many mean things to me in e dream.. so did e girl (no offence.. tho i duno why. just've got something against her )= ..noe i shouldn't..but oh well.. have not attain dat kind of peaceful heart of mind..haha) well.. tho it din affected me as bad as last time immediately when i woke up.. e effects are still lingering here now.. i'm starting to shed tears again.. starting to feel unhappy.. just thot dat mean ppl are supposed to get retribution.. but it doesn't seems like to me.. he's got a gf and a new ipod? dey get rewards instead on retribution.. nevertheless.. its not supposed to be my business anymore. but i still feel hurt and cheated out. like wad have i done to make things so bad? well.. gotta hang on.. sometimes i feel my happiness is quite fake. cos deep down. i'm still hurt.. really hope to change all these.. and not give up on moving on. i always forget my goals.. dat one day i will definitely get below 10 for L1R5.get into a good jc.make it big in life and meet my fairytale.. it beats better than to just have a bf that doesn't respect u and having bad grades becos we go out all e time? i dun have to lie to my parents anymore? i can go anywhere i want? with any friend now? i'm as free as a bird. i'm supposed to be happy? but those memories are far too many.. curved.imprinted.. i want to burn those memories away..if only i cld make it disappear.. time. how long will i take. i gota do it fast.. its affecting me.. sigh.. sometimes its so easy to lose all e hope dat i've built up for so long.. haha.. getting long winded here again ping..
well.. went shopping! din buy anything.. but saw many targets to buy.. waiting for money to drop from sky before i buy? haha.. i'm in need of money.. now.. things i buy makes me happy. haha.. bad bad habit =X.. well well..
but my life seems in better control now.. guess i see more.. felt more. know more.. thanks for all e people who has always been dere for me..
haha.. this entry is a bad bad entry for a happy blog.. hope to see less of this ping! haha.. i'm talking to myself again.. wuahaha.. i'm really mad now.. something burnt my brain.. oH! i wana get a bicycle.. and many many many more. haha.
fairy tales do happen.. i know mine will come.. definitely not soon. but it will come. and it will definitely be better than his.. i tink he's totally lost touch of wad true love feels like.. he just wants happiness and fun.. goes for freshness and kicks e old.. how many more is he going to hurt? has he really changed? i duno.. why am i tinking of him again. MAD! u tink of him again and i'm gona SHOOT u. ok.. haha.
heya.. sorry peeps if u dun mind me talking to myself.. anyway. bad entry.
